Latest Tweets:

roachpatrol:

Has anyone made a videogame where you’re a princess locked at the top of a tower and have to fight your way down to ground level? Because dang.

Like, think about it: you’re given this nice little room and no objectives at all and when you open the door the guard says ‘stay in there’ so you wait and nothing happens and you open the door again and try and walk out and the guard pushes you back in and says things like ‘you’re our prisoner’ and ‘where are you going, you’re stuck here’ and ‘are you trying to meet your prince? he won’t ever get up THIS high’ and ‘get back inside before I get mad’. But you can pick up a vase of flowers, and you can swing it around. And the thing is all the guards are expecting the hero to be battling his way up, and all this one wimpy little guard at the top is posted to your room for is to push you back into your room, so you can smash him over the head because he’s just not expecting it, and then steal his weapons. And after that you find that the guards are always bigger and stronger than you—and they get bigger and stronger every level down—but you can generally manage to get the first shot in because they’re waiting for the hero, and you’re the princess. And maybe there’s puzzles and stuff too, but you have to solve them backwards, working your way along from end to start, because they’re all set up for the hero. And when you get the bottom and you have the fight of your life because the guards are massed up waiting for the hero, tons of them with awesome weapons and armor and spells and you think it’s the boss battle, but when they’re all dead and the final ground-level door is free to open the credits don’t roll.  And you realize there must be one more fight outside the doors, too, before you’re free, so you equip the best armor and weapons and potions you can find and go outside and you fight this one huge lone badass man on a badass horse in the sunlight. Then he’s finally defeated, and lying in the grass, and his horse is yours, and the credits still aren’t rolling. And you look at his corpse and you see he’s got a locket on, and in that locket is a picture of your face. 

And then you realize that that was the hero. 

And then the credits roll. 

(via novakian)

*67

(Source: lannistred, via lunidoll)

kyrafic:

monobeartheater:

intrnetvibes:

jay gatsby’s car was a real hit with the ladies

i know literally nothing about great gatsby but i know tumblr and with that knowledge i am 500% sure that jay gatsby hits some motherfucker with his car

Tumblr: gateway to great literature.

(via cutietaire)

uninhabited-paradise:

Neil Patrick Harris - The OUT List [x]

(via meshesofmymadrigal)

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

mcmeows:

beardedboggan:

rosy-pop:

"So one of our owners Judi was walking on the beach this morning cleaning up the junk that washed into shore and finds a bottle with a message in it. There is also some sand and 2 one dollar bills. Once we get it open and read the notes we find out that it is in fact NOT sand. It is the ashes of this woman’s husband of 27 years named Gordon. She writes that He loved to travel so she sent him traveling in a bottle with a note and money for someone to call home and tell her where he landed. He started at Big Pine Key in March of 2012 and then went to Islamerada where someone found him. They added a note and sent him traveling again and he landed on our beach in Key Colony. Judi called the wife in Tennessee who was excited to know of Gordon’s travels! Judi added her note, we put him in a rum bottle (you know added a little fun to his trip) with the three notes. We added another dollar in case Gordon travels far and a long distance call is needed. We will be having a memorial service or celebration of his life on our beach later today before sending him on his way again. Only our sister Judi could find a dead guy on our beach!”

Humanity: one awesome story at a time.  Gods speed, Gordon. May the tides and currents take you to shores you only dreamed of in life.

This is by far the coolest thing I have read. Amazing.

Do this to me. Please.

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

mcmeows:

beardedboggan:

rosy-pop:

"So one of our owners Judi was walking on the beach this morning cleaning up the junk that washed into shore and finds a bottle with a message in it. There is also some sand and 2 one dollar bills. Once we get it open and read the notes we find out that it is in fact NOT sand. It is the ashes of this woman’s husband of 27 years named Gordon. She writes that He loved to travel so she sent him traveling in a bottle with a note and money for someone to call home and tell her where he landed. He started at Big Pine Key in March of 2012 and then went to Islamerada where someone found him. They added a note and sent him traveling again and he landed on our beach in Key Colony. Judi called the wife in Tennessee who was excited to know of Gordon’s travels! Judi added her note, we put him in a rum bottle (you know added a little fun to his trip) with the three notes. We added another dollar in case Gordon travels far and a long distance call is needed. We will be having a memorial service or celebration of his life on our beach later today before sending him on his way again. Only our sister Judi could find a dead guy on our beach!”

Humanity: one awesome story at a time.  Gods speed, Gordon. May the tides and currents take you to shores you only dreamed of in life.

This is by far the coolest thing I have read. Amazing.

Do this to me. Please.

(Source: eatsomebrains, via girl-with-the-books)

theworldatourfeet:

So it’s the last week of schools for the seniors here, and that means everyday has a different dress up thingy.
Today was decades day, where everyone chooses a time period and dresses accordingly.
I rocked this look and called it the 2020’s, the times when this sort of thing would be socially acceptable.
So not only did I have a great time with it, I had some social commentary, got away with wearing this stuff in public which is fantastic, and not to mention got to show off my damn fine legs.
Decades day, success.

(Source: leasline, via meshesofmymadrigal)

brigwife:

kidouyuuto:

how did they learn to translate languages into other languages how did they know which words meant what HOW DID TH

English Person: *Points at an apple* Apple

French Person: Non c’est une fucking pomme 

*800 years of war*

(via meshesofmymadrigal)

makamayla:

spankmethorin:

There is 3 levels of Toklien fandom

You have regular fans

You have Stephen Colbert

And then you have New Zealand

Not

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too

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sure

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what

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you’re

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talking

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about

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?

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(via thewerebunny)